self-doubt – that’s what holds me back

the reasons for not becoming the person i want to be, or importantly, the writer i want to be, can fill up pages and pages… but as i think about it, there are so many obstacles because of one main thing, self-doubt. i doubt my ability and capability more than i should, and with that, comes the lack of confidence and importantly, will, to just do it. to just chase relentlessly, and with immense passion. if i hold myself back so much, then, maybe, i am not letting myself bloom. if i wonder if i will ever fly, i won’t even try. if i doubt that i can climb those rickety stairs to become the kind of writer that i want to be, then i won’t even budge from the bottom step. my self-doubt also means i don’t try hard enough. the thought – i will anyway fail, so why bother with effort.

i need to try. fall flat, tumble down and get hurt, wounded, cry, yet keep trying. i should not scale down the dream, should not change it constantly so that i chase a new dream every few years and never really succeed but never really fail either…

if i do not reach for the stars, i won’t even get to the roof…

daily prompt: obstacle course 

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