like with love, some people might say, you don’t plan to dream that dream.
or chase it. it saunters in, poised and confident, complete in itself.
teasing you about your current existence. and feeding you with desire.
this dream upsets the rhythm you’d perfected over years of being… just you.
because now you want more.
it latches on, that bloody dream. almost parasitic, feeding off you,
it eats the few highs, and leaves you with the misery of the hopeless chase.
tight in its clutch, blinded by desire, you forget that you invited it.
that you asked it to come and stay. you let it become a part
of your new rhyme. you start to believe it was always there. the beginning…
the hazy merging of the horizon with the sea, far in the distance, so far
that you cannot see… grey meeting grey or grey being grey.
you do not know anymore. the blinkers have been stapled on. you tell yourself,
repeatedly, that you do not work hard enough to even deserve this dream.
you inch closer, the dream scuttles away. the chase is on.
this one sided love affair of your own creation. you forget that these things
can be flung away, that they can be changed, modified, and yes, even dismissed.
you forget what it is to not have that dream. to not be judged by failing it.
you dreamt that dream. you gave it life, you set it free in the space that holds you.
maybe. that dream can change. and you will still be you. and maybe
you will find another dream.