22 april

i haven’t made this into a habit yet, this writing everyday thing,
this concept of journalling that big writers talk about.
some big writers.
maybe it is important to do so, or maybe not.
i need to learn to give myself time to surf and time to read
and time to do. because otherwise i surf, and don’t do
i read and don’t do. i chill and don’t do… i…
doing is getting a beating because i rather not do and
just read, or surf, or chill… thwack thwack my head
bangs against itself as i wish i was someone with a
stronger will, a fighter spirit. but how can i wish for
something i am not. if i want to be then i must be
no one can make me.
these thoughts sound great on paper, in a poem,
as philosophy lectures, but doing is the problem.
it is easier to talk. so let’s.